this is probably the end of us
Friday, 11 November 2016 @ 20:46
So today's post is kinda sad, heart-breaking. Ya'll know why, right? What else should i be sad about? All is about that fuckboy who never stop makes my life miserable. I don't know what is actually he wants from me. I just hate being his toy. I'm tired, YES. There's a time he's in love with me & there's a time he hates me for no reason and i'm freaking tired to switch my feelings cause we're keep switching situation :( I guess, i should've let him go. Best people gives the best memories. So, i guess its for the best. Yes, this makes me sad. What else should i do? I want to be happy too, takkan nak tengok org lain je happy. And yes, my problem is, when people got a crush on me, and they took a step to know me better, i pushed them away. Idk why. Idk if its because i am not ready to be in love with anyone else or i want people who got a crush on me had the same character like my ex. Like before he turns to fuckboy. And i'll just focus on my future. That stewardess thingy.
i will leave my heart at door
i won't say a word
they've all been said before y'know
so why don't we just play pretend
like we're not scared of what is coming next
or scared of having nothing left
I guess i was wrong about you. I thought we could be together again. I thought i could change you. I thought deep down in your heart there's the old you. I thought you would fight for us too. Annnnd again, i was wrong. I'll be ok without you, but not today, but one day. The day when i finally ready to let you go. Yes, i still love you. My friends keep telling me that i'm a fool for still loving the ex who has cheated on me before. Yes, i guess i am that fool. All i want is to feel his love. Because my love & feelings toward him are real. So, goodbye love <3
Friday, 4 November 2016 @ 06:57
So i am now is on exam week, it started two days ago & now there's only 2 papers left! Wish me luck guys hehehe. Btw, i want to apologise for my past posts because the font is changing. Actually im using georgia but then i realised that im using the other font which i forget which one is it. So after i changed to the "unknown font" um the size & the font wont change to the way i wanted so idk how to fix it so i hope you guys understand if you sees it. I don't want you to think that my posts are ugly & plus im talking abt my silly life so maybe u guys don't really enjoy it. But, i like to share my life. And i like to talk about things. I used to have diary before i started blogging. But then i am too lazy to write anymore because it uses a lot energy hahaha. But fyi, i still have a diary. I bought it last year but the whole book is like still empty. I mean, there's a few story i write. The important things that i wanted to remember.
Um so btw, i decided to change my course. I guess. I am study electrical engineering right now, but my heart & my soul are not in that course so i don't really like to study more about it because i'm not interested. I started to study about it is because my mom asked me to because i have a trouble of studying. I think its called lazy. And my memory can't afford to keep complicated things such as chemistry, bio, and something like that. But at least i tried. But then, few days ago, my family and i sent my older sister to the airport because she studies in Egypt. Before that, i wanted you guys to know that my first ambition is, to be a stewardess. YES. But at first my mom won't let me idk why. Maybe it is because they don't wear scarfs. I think so la kan. And i told my mom again about it right after we sent my sister to the airport & guess what.... she agreed with me yayyyy! Omg i am so happy. But my mom wants me to be at the ground level, the ticketing job, i guess. But i wanted to flyyyy to every country in this world. So idk how to be a stewardess. Still working on it. Please you guys, pray for me. Its my future. I really wanted to be a stewardess since i was a kid. My other sister said that Qatar Airways accept those who wears scarf & im gonna wait for the interview. Idk, my sister also helping me to get my dream job hehehe. Thank god. Because her friend been to the stewardess interview & idk if she's did it or not.
About my love life.. idk. Im tired to think about this stuff. Because all i get is heart broken. But sometimes, im happy. But sometimes i don't. He made me feels confused. Idk if he's still love me or not. Because actually we decided to wait for each other. I'm waiting for him to fix himself for me. Yes, it takes time. But im not sure i can faced all those pain, alone. I love him so so much...... more than anything. But whatever it is, if we're meant to be together, then we will. That's all what i can say. I'm gonna stop fighting for him. Because im scared of losing him again, and im tired of hurting. I wanted to be free. That's all. Hm..