Sunday 29 April 2018 @ 03:17
Hello.
Its 29th April 2018, Sunday and 5.44PM.
Two days ago, it was my boyfriend's birthday. So i decided to not send him a Happy Birthday text or FaceTime or anything. We stay silence on that day. Because i already had a plan which is, i already bought two box of chocolate for his birthday at Singapore because he loveeesss chocolate. And i wrapped them so that when he get 'em, he wouldn't know that it's chocolate. And i wrote 3 letters for him, and yes that include his birthday wish. I want to make him thinks that i forgot that, that day is his birthday. So as soon as he get the present, and he read those letter, then maybe that'll make him happy. So i gave that birthday present to his friend so that his friend could give it to him. Because my house jauh doh dengan his house. And i don't have a car lol.
Until, at night. I just can't believe he let those silence controlling us. So i called him, and yelled. Because he didn't text me a good morning wish which he used to send it like everyday except for that day. And he said he was busy. Ha almost forgot. He's going to Pahang that night right after he got back from work. That was his plan. But malang tak berbau, he got into an accident. He hit a rock. Idk how, then he fell down from his motorcycle and fainted. And after he woke up, his arm is already broke. Erk. Idk what happened next because i was not there. So he called his brother and ask him to take him to the hospital. So yeah he was admitted that night. I was freakin' worried! I couldn't sleep at night. I mean, i could. But i had nightmares. It says that it was my fault. Because i yelled at him. So idk.
Yesterday, he went to the operation theater. Because the doctor has to put some kind of a steel to straighten his arm. Idk how's the thing work or called. And yeah. I visited him today, this morning. I was so excited. I baked a chocolate cake for him because it was his birthday. But he didn't eat it yet idk kinda hurt. But its okay he will eventually. He's getting better i can see that because i was there until 5PM. Just now. Yes. But something happened. When he was asleep, i checked his phone and he texted his ex girlfriend and some other girl idek. I almost cried but.. people keep calling him because they wanted to come visit him. And he forgot that my fingerprint is on his phone. After he remembered about my fingerprint, he freakin removed it. What should i really feel? And when i asked him, he said that i wanted to start a fight. So i texted my friend and i told him that i wanted to go back home. I don't have enough money so my friend came and lend his money. And my friend told me to put myself in situation that is hurting me.
I don't know why when i love someone, they started to change and make me feel all these kind of shitty feelings. I was cheated once by my ex. And my boyfriend made me believe that he won't cheated on me. He won't flirt with any other girls. I knew he won't because he's not that kind of person. But, what about he texted his ex and perempuan lain tu which i tak kenal he never talked about her. What should i feel? I told him already that i knew then he said "Ok sorry" but when i asked again, mcm biasa he said that i wanted to start a fight. Like what the fuck dude? You always checked my phone and i don't fucking text my ex or flirting with any guys. And now you don't even let me go through your phone again? God help me. I wanna quit loving people. So now i decided to stay silence. And i'll be back to all my social media ONLY if he explain everything or at least tell me the truth about his feelings to me. Don't make me confuse. Stop, nobody's like that. You're messing with peoples' feelings. Stop it ok.
