Eighteen & Malaysian
Sunday, 5 November 2017 @ 17:36
black, book, and fire image


Hello!

So back at me again. It's November 6th. Well, a lot of things happened in my life. This has nothing to do with my love life or social life. It is with my family. I don't know what happen i don't want to talk about it. Well, this is different. I always open up in this blog but this time i don't think i want to. And i decided to quit school eventhough there's only a few days left. I'm not gonna graduate. Things just hit me so hard. I don't think i'm strong enough to deal with this life drama. And no one seems care about me. I feel like i'm worthless to anybody. My family, my friends. I usually talked about this with my ex. But seems like i've blocked all of my ex on social medias including their contact so i have no one to talk to. Oh yes, i talked to a friend from school but i don't think she's understand what i've been through. Eventhough she told me that she get it what i'm facing with. Idk guys. People keep telling me that everything that happened is normal. They don't feel what i feel. They're not even in the same shoes. 

So.. i deleted my WhatsApp account. And i don't really use Twitter or Instagram at this moment. I just want to get away from anything, everyone for awhile. Until i'm really okay. And yes, i am not okay. I feel like i'm not okay. I prefer to be alone this time. I have trouble of sleeping at night. I usually bedtime usually before 11pm. Trust me guys, i have the thought of commiting suicide. But that thing is the worse so i think about it twice so that if i really do it, i can't go back and feel regret about it. Because i know i have so much dosa that i did. I really want to.. but i can't. Entahlah idk what to say. I can't desribe what i really feel. I'm sorry.